Remarks from a Rangers fan - after the Stars dramatic loss to Martin Broduer and John Madden

... because really, those are the two guys that owned the game!  After a game like last night it's hard to find anything worth talking about - I think most fans want to take our referee chants (like A rope, a tree, lets hang the referee) and reword them for ... well ... ANYONE on the Stars.

But as I skimmed through the blogs and news articles on the web I found this great one from the perspective of a Rangers fan who wanted to follow the Avery Circus around the New York area:

What resulted was a clinical dissection of Dallas by Jersey's regimented offense in front of maybe, maybe 7,000 fans. The Dallas Stars that beat the Rangers on Monday were nowhere to be found, as were the Devil fans, who stayed away in droves. On the ice, the Marty Turco that was there to stop every Blueshirt break through the Star defense didn't show up. The Turco who made it to Newark pulled himself grossly out of position twice to allow a pair of amateurish goals on his way to being yanked for a Swedish kid who had 110 minutes of NHL time before taking the Rock ice.

To be fair, Scotty Hockey, the blogger responsible for this well-written description of our boys' (yes, last night they were truly boys) foul attempt to play AHL level hockey, was as mean to the Devils as he was to the Stars; the difference was it seemed his hatred towards the Devils was of a rivalry, and his distasteful words for the Stars were purely driven by their untoward play.

They looked so awkward on the ice last night that each and every one of the contracts should be nullified.  In fact, I have a new way to pay them - purely based on their performance each game:

• Their first goal of the game, a player earns $10,000.  Each goal there-after earns double the previous payment, thus, goal 2 is worth $20,000, goal 3 is worth $40,000 and goal 5 would then be worth $160,000.
• First Assists are worth 25% of that goal's value, second Assists are worth 50% of that.  However, this amount comes out of the player's check who scores the goal.  Thus, the player who scores his 5th goal in a game must pay $40,000 to whomever got the First Assist and $20,000 for the Second Assist.  This still earns the goal scorer $100,000 for that goal; nevermind how much they earned for their first 4.
• Hits would also be worth something, lets say $500 to start, thereafter they can grow exponentially as well.

Goalies are a bit more difficult, they don't make hits, usually don't make assists, and almost never make goals.  Goalies could get paid by ...

• The saves.  Let's say a goalie blocks 30 shots in a game: $1,500 per blocked shot would earn them $45,000 for that game (which, by the way, is worth $3.7mil per year).
• Not all saves are equal though - lets say a save based on a turnover which gives the offense a 2-on-1 advantage: $1,750; 3-on-1 $2,000.  Penalty shot?  $3,000 - and the extra $1,500 comes from the player who is serving the penalty!

This is BY NO MEANS an exact or fully-thought out system, but something like this is SURE to force players to work smarter, not harder; not only that but it will force players who play as abysmal as our boys did last night leave the league if they can't begin to perform - for it's those players who would be paying the other players' salaries.

Do I think this would actually work?  Not likely, but it's something to think about.  Do I want this to happen to the Stars?  No, but I'm at a loss what else could make them pull their heads out of those cavities they've found themselves in and begin playing like the skilled TEAM that they truly are.

Scotty Hockey, thanks for the inspiration to write this column today.  I really wasn't in the mood but the minute I read your post I became filled with such rage at my boys that the above filth just started pouring out.

Hey Stars, how about tonight against the Islanders you actually show up, as the proud NHL players that you are, and just ENJOY yourselves.  We go through this every season - you forget to ENJOY hockey and you go on a skid.  Last March, you forgot, but the minute you remembered you actually made it to the Western Conference Finals.  This October you've forgotten, and now you're risking your chances of ... well ... they say you can't make the playoffs in October, but you can sure make it difficult to do so if you keep this up.